Wednesday, August 19, 2015

How I electrocuted my pants before I got to Burning Man

I ruined a pair of pants and I'm almost ready to cry.
These weren't any pair of pants. They were my new sparkly red stretch pants -- ready for their first trip to Burning Man.
My Burning Man wardrobe slants utility and function over sexy and flare. Despite boasting only one real pair of sexy pants, my playa name is Major Sexy Pants, more on that later.
These pants, made lovingly by my campmate Tractor, were going to redefine my swag.

How they died: The pants were placed in a bag with also contained a block-sized (5ah) 12-volt battery. The pants connected the circuit and the pants were fried as the wire melted.
Assessment: No reasonable person thinks "Don't put the pants next to that rechargeable battery." But no reasonable person transports large batteries in the same bag as funky red stretch pants.
Are the pants safe? Hell yeah. If I were in said pants and came in contact with a live battery, I would move. Ladies weren't safe around these pants either. In a small sample size, they demanded to be rubbed.
Burner Bio: Attended six consecutive after first 2009 burn. Camp GYST elder. Major Sexy Pants playa name references my general helpfulness as much as the cut of my pants.

This it/was the year I planned to step up my playa wardrobe. "Radical Self-Expression" is one of the 10 of Burning Man. People have generally interpreted that to mean you don't ware your "default" world wardrobe.  The dusty surface of the lake bed his highly acidic so it makes sense not to ruin your regular clothes, but it also encourages you to step further out of your regular life. (Discussing life outside of Burning Man id generally discouraged.)
Tractor is passionate about getting people out of the cargo pants that she intends to dress 1 percent of Burning Man in booty shorts. Assuming a population of 60,000, that's 600 booty shorts. She's done that number and well beyond, helping people like me and many others.
My first years, we're all about survival, but as my camp has grown I've found campmates that care enough about me to upgrade my style package. The loss of these pants is such a setback.

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